It's beginning to look a lot like....

it's been a crazy busy few days, make that few weeks....doing a lot of schools work means that this time of the year schools are keen for me to be involved in various parts of school life whether that's to just go along and watch nativity plays, to visit nursery classes and do a lesson about Christmas, to whole school carol services, Christingles and even the pleasure of a class party !
It is an exhausting time, the usual winter cold, sore throats has kicked in and the mild panic about how am I going to find the time to write the 2 talks/sermons I've still not done for Sunday let alone wrap presents and prepare the house for our family Christmas.

Yet tonight we ventured out, a band of merry singers, Carol singing in and around Lodgehill in Chattenden to share free mince pies and goody bags . It was cold, we haven't done it before yet the reaction as we walked and sang was amazing, people came out of houses, people stopped and listened and we even made some cry so moved were they that we'd come to them.
When we are so busy we can loose track of what Christmas is all about ...the spark of love come down in the form of a baby. That love is what I want to share with everyone, this year I've been so blessed to be able to hear that love told, shared and sung throughout our schools and to those members of staff who've invited me in I'm grateful.
This Christmas amidst the busyness of what needs to be done.....take a moment to watch, to observe, to take in the moment , the love come down and be blessed x

Waiting

its been a while! We've had no internet for 6 weeks and we've moved house so life has been pretty hectic!
In 7 days time we will be on the cusp of Christmas Eve..."The most wonderful time of the year !"
Until then there seems an endless amount of things to do ....3 Christingles, 2 school carol services, 2 crib services and a host of other services and appointmets let alone the secular side of stuff to do!! It's so easy to feel overwhelmed by the task ahead yet in doing that I fear we miss the precious moment. The time to step back and take time to appreciate what's to come. For this moment, advent is a time of preparing and waiting....waiting for the greatest day the greatest moment when heaven and earth touched through the birth of a baby. ...preparing to spend time with loved ones, give and receive gifts and remember those who can't be with us any longer .

Tomorrow amidst the morning services, christingle making and carol service Daniel will take his first communion...something he's been asking to do since he was 3! Amidst the busyness I want to take A Moment...freeze time to appreciate the here and now, the sheer overwhelming proud moment that will happen for Dan .

At this time of year , this week amidst the excitement, craziness and the fun take time to appreciate th moment ..

beyond the collar

It's  been another crazy week in the V-K household. After a wonderfully chilled if not high energy weekend away go aping and segewaying for my cousins non hen do I was back in full swing of a busy week, marc was away leading music at a conference for the diocese with mum and dad so I was on juggle duty trying to fulfill my work commitments, the kids and do the own thing I dread ...cook !
It's been a strange week as last week I was buzzing with ideas for new possibilities once weve moved house, things we can do people we can engage with joy of being able to use the house as a community hub...ideas were flying around and again I felt excited about what's to come.

This week though I suddenly feel overwhelmed with the changes that are coming at me from left right and centre things that need to be laid down, things that I need to let go of and that's tough. The hardest part though of this job is the relationships.
Sometimes it can feel that people can't get past the dog collar it becomes like a barrier that stops people in their tracks, it seems people have such ideas of what a priest should be like and let's face it I blow most of some preconceived ideas out of the water 💦
However, when you're busy, tired an emotional wreck it's amazing who steps up to the mark to support and guide you ..those who remember you before the collar...those who see you as a person behind the collar  and those who just know the right thing to say...to my hidden stars  ✨ thank you for putting up with me it is massively appreciated.

Shine!

A massive apology to you all for going on and on about Shine....all who donated are a proper star and I love your dearly!
I did my first Shine walk in 2014 having just found out I was pregnant with Elijah (but didn't tell anyone in case they stopped me !!) I wanted to achieve a marathon but knew I'd never achieve it running as I have dodgy knees so when I saw friends put on Facebook they were doing the Shine walk I wanted in!!
Cancer is such a git that's hurt and even taken some very dear people close to me in work , family and friends that I felt useless... doing this has been a very tiny way of raising money, showing support, and enduring a little pain in solidarity of those who suffer.

Going through a marathon is an amazing experience from the preparation (which I definitely didn't do enough this time) which made me take time out to not only exercise but to get some fresh air and spend time with lovely folk walking, to the night again spending time with wonderful people. The atmosphere really was electric on Saturday hearing powerful stories, seeing the labels people were wearing in memory of loved ones, but it also is an endurance , for me it definitely wasn't a walk in the park I had to dig deep, I had to find some mental energy and I had to control my constant need to wee !!!

Since yesterday many folk have asked if I'll do it again.....never say never 😜

Vikki

The last few weeks have really taken their toll on Marc and I. Some of you know that a friend of ours Vikki passed away very suddenly at just 43 years of age. Vikki was one of the first people we met when we moved into Hoo and she welcomed us into the toddler group ..(especially Marc as I was working ) with open arms. I then had the real privilege of meeting Mark when I was asked to baptise baby Amelia who is now a gorgeous 6 year old, her and Dan went to the same prep school for a while.
Vikki was one of the kindest people I've ever met and always had time to chat, she popped into our cafe church a few times to chat through the "big" questions, we'd bump into her in the Chequers pub and have a chat there, or even passing in the street she'd stop for a chat.
When things like this happen you alway think I really should have made mroe of an effort to meet up, chat A little longer , follow a certain conversation up etc but in the moment you think you've got all the time in the world.
On Thursday I was honoured that Mark entrusted me to take Vikki on her last journey from earth into the heavenly realm in her funeral. I've never seen a crem so overflowing that people couldn't get near but instead listened to the service outside on loud speakers, so much was the love for Vikki. The service of course was a toughy full of emotion and it would  only be fair for others there to comment on it but it felt beautiful. Afterwards we spent a long time at the Chequers chatting to family and friends Sharing stories and releasing balloons.
This week has shown me how special friend s are, how fragile life is and how amazingly supportive some people have been to us... appreciate each moment, love those cLose to you and take care of those who are struggling at this time !
Love and prayer s are with you Mark and Amelia xxx

Summer

So this morning I spent the morning welcoming, supporting, moping upmtears of the new year sevens and their parents  /carers...marking the end of the school summer holidays !!!

It's been a really different summer for us...for many reasons we chose not to go away away (if that makes sense) . We had a lovely few days visiting my cousin and seeing her fringe show, seeing old school friends and climbing my mountain and doing the Vallente thing. Dan had an amazing experience going away for the first time with my folks being all grown up and living the life of Riley and then we've had a truly restful, inspiring fun 5 days at the Greenbelt festival with my amazing aunty and fab friends . These experiences have been great don't get me wrong but I'm feeling the strain of not having a block of time completely away from everything.

It's been an interesting Summer connecting with different people spending time with folk and developing friendships ...it's amazing the folk who've been around To help and support us. I love the summer and have a,ways dreaded September but there's something Reassuring about a routine but also the excitement of knowing the fun of autumn/winter is on its way.
Whatever you've been up to this summer whether it's work rest or play I hope you have found some chill time for yourself and your loved ones.

Bucket Lists

Im not sure when the notion of a bucket list came into my mind but over the last few years I've begun to name key things I'd like to do, see, achieve amongst the busyness of life.... the list includes things that are hopefully achieveable and some which aren't but are pipe dreams.... so aft they've been pretty shallow things like seeing Kylie ✅and Take That ✅ is also like to see Cold play And U2 but they are proving tricky... amongst other things are to swim with dolphins, see the northern lights and attend a school reunion ✅ but top of the list was definitely to climb a mountain ✅

Last week thanks to my fairygodPEteacher who I've stayed in touch with we managed to arrange (eventually) a day to climb Helvelyn in the Lake District... climbing a mountain is on Marc s bucket list too but unfortunately we couldn't find child care so he sacrificed his space to enable me to go. (Don't worry I'm hoping my dear friend will agree to take me again but both this time in the

future )
There is something really really exhilarating about achieving a goal of specially a physical challenge....I can't deny that at points I struggled and needed my beloved blue puffer a few times and also needed a lot of emergency first aid, not on myself but my boots that disintegrated (berghaus have offered a 30% discount on a new pair!) but to reach the summit, see the views and meet people from across the world..and their dogs ! It really was amazing...what a wonderful creator we have !
One week on I'm still buzzing from it and keen to go again though living in Kent makes it some what more tricky...
                        
So now I'm on the look out for new adventures for my bucket list....any suggestions greatly received !

Multi tasking!

SORRY!
If there is by chance anyone out there mad or bored enough to read these ramblings I apologise it has been forever since I got round to blogging....life has been somewhat crazy busy...

Tonight I've set aside time to write my sermon for Sunday...I've been mulling it over for some days and read lots around it and was really struggling to get inspired...I'm constantly trying to have in mind the congregation that I will be speaking to and of course trying to listen to the dear Lord as to what is needed to be said/ heard....

When I was younger my mum would often moan at me for what I would now call "multi tasking  " watching tv , chatting on the phone (as you did in the 90's) and trying to do my homework....but I always got it done....
Tonight I've had the footy on, been clearing emails , chatting on text, had a bath...and amazingly managed to write a sermon...whether it's the inspiration of the other activities or the weird way my brain needs to have a distraction to help the other side focus I've no idea...and of course is it any good? You'll just have to come to St Francis church on Sunday and find that one out 😜

Discombobulated

It's been a weird few weeks...I've been living in a bubble of excitement with my and Elijah s birthdays , joy of visiting friends and family , a 2 night trip away minus kids and the on going exciting demands of work, alongside that there's been the horrific terrorist attacks in Manchester and London. It's been hard to sit in a place of emmense joy and emmense pain knowing families have suffered so deeply seeing schools having to cancel trips because parents are living in fear for their kids and we are all secretly wondering where on earth next . It can feel like we are In a state of flux but you look again and we are hearing stories of amazing heroism ...people risking their own lives to protect others, people reacting instinctively to try and stop the terror , homeless men rushing from their spots in order to help and try and save the lives of others who may have usually just passed them by. And tonight I sit trying to plan , watching DIY SOS from Sheppey just down the road from us really , watching two guys who have chosen to adopt 4 very vulnerable children with incredible complex needs have a house literally built up for them enabling them to not just survive together but thrive...inspiring, truly inspiring.
So amidst the hurt and pain we are seeing in the world there still is sparks if not flames of absolute wonderful humanity. And that's the hope I believe In. The hope that shines in the darkness...may it continue to shine.

If carlsberg did weeks....

if carlsberg designed the perfect week...the week just gone would not have been it ! I've never known a week where so much could go wrong...I've had to support an institution with a major critical incident, one of my colleagues was dramatically taken ill which then resulted in my having to cover 2 weddings , a confrontation with the Press and the Sunday services. We've also had a long consultation with the paediatrician for Dan moving closer to a diagnosis for him (more on that another time)Amidst this I also know of others who've had very difficult weeks due to personal family circumstances, it really has been a heart breaking week!

But amidst the stress of preparing all the extra work I got to marry two amazing couples , see on elf those walk down the aisle and stand for her vows after years of being bed ridden with severe ME, I got to baptise a beautiful spirited little girl who delighted at the sight of the water and I got to lead an all age communion accompanied by the junior choir including my son with my aunty in the congregation .

After all that I also had the real joy of having a party to celebrate still being 39(albeit for a few more days!)  with my brother in law. Family travelled from Middlesborough and Rochdale and my bestest ever friend from primary school came down from Bolton with her children. It was just the perfect night...people came together to help make it special a dear friend d j ing, some of my old youth group now all grown up did a photo booth , some awesome friend s made cakes and even more amazing friends helped to decorate the rooms. The room was buzzing with all ages having fun together and it was just wonderful....if carlsberg designed not yet 40th parties is would've been it!   ( as my mum said she couldn't have thought of anything that would've made the Party better, apart from Jason Donovan turning up! ....he didn't 😢)
The only thing I could think of was hiring an even bigger room so I could've invited more friends. Thank you special folk who so far have transformed a heart wrenching, painful week into a weekend of real blessing she and joy..now what to do on my actual birthday 🎉???

Schools

the new job is in full swing! Some may Not notice much difference but one thing that has increased is my schools involvements.
This week is the first week back post Easter hols and it's been a strange one this year as schools broke up over 2 weeks before Easter Sunday . So, this week I've been into nursery and reception classes in Wainscott school and then had year 1 from Cedar school (all 90 of them at once!) visit St Francis church ! It's been a lovely week continuing to share the 🐣 Easter excitement with the children , share the story of the first Easter and hear all about the amazing Easter eggs many of them received !!
One real sweet moment was when a little girl from reception shouted out as I walked in...that's Sue I know her and she came to mY birthday party (my boys were in fact invited to said joint party 🎉) very sweet though indeed!

Amidst the tiredness of the amazing Holy Week it has been a real joy to get to know these kids a bit more... I don't ever regret stopping being a primary school teacher.....but I do miss school life A lot !

The Greatest Season

the last few weeks have been really strange.. I had my licensing on the 30th of March which was the most amazing afternoon ever...I've been to many of these occasions but this was the first I actually was able to plan myself And it was everything I'd hoped it would be, I was also really touched by those people who came especially when it's not necessarily there thing.

Then the next day Dan finished school for the Easter holidays, 2 weeks before Easter itself.
We made the decision to go away before Holy Week as we were in desperate need of a break, as. A mark of moving from one job to another, and to enable Daniel a visit to his much loved Espana!

But now we sit at the cusp of Easter...it's been a really busy week...memories of holidays faded somewhat but the anticipation of tomorrow firmly at the forefront of our hearts and minds...
I actually LOVE Easter much more really than Christmas...in fact I get a bit frustrated that we don't spend or give Easter as much attention as we do the C word. For Easter is where it's at... Easter is about new life, new hope about the greatest gift ever given, the most amazing story ever told.
The world feels to be in a bit of a mess at the moment, somewhat lost but Easter gives us the hope of a better life .

Whatever your thoughts and views, whether you'll indulge in chocolate and bunnies or avoid it altogether may tomorrow bring you peace.

Le weekend

Whilst most folk count down the he days until the weekend ...usually from Sunday night ...some of us , in fact most of us wonderful church lot (lay and ordained) are gearing up for a weekend of opportunities... this weekend was exceptionally busy as I was helping to teach a unit on the mission shaped ministry training programme which was residential in west wickham . I absolutely love teaching and do miss it in many ways but here is something slightly nerves about teaching adults, fellow colleagues and people, who have had way much more life experience, throw in teaching Alongside the woman I admire the most...my mother and I was a light anxious shall we say!
However it was truly a wonderful time  sitting and working alongside some amazing people doing some amazing things across the whole of Kent, it was also great to catch up with some old friends too!
Unfortunately or fortunately this week end was also our church weekend for our new family event UP4IT in Upnor so I hot footed it back in time for 3.45 where we made stuff, planted stuff, jumped up and down, saw the creation story told in many ways including by balloon modelling and I felt really blessed to be in such great company.
After battling teething toddler and a birthday cake Sunday came and another's full day of Sunday where I got to be with the kids, have an announcement about my future and spend lunch time with some of our families from church and those thinking about baptism .
It's gone 11pm I've barely had a minute to myself , the steroids are doing there thing and tomorrow another full on day plus a big boys 7th birthday...I reflect back now wondering how we fitted so much in to these last few days, feeling blessed for amazing parents supporting, working and looking after the kids ad of course marc keeping the show on the road. Physically tired if not mentally I wouldn't have changed any of it for the world ..I love being with people , I love sharing the message of hope in Jesus and I love how things just come together but tonight I most of all love the boy who turns 7 tomorrow, the boy we never thought we'd have and after 5 years of trying surprised us during vicar training ! Feeling well and truly blessed ! 😍

Treasure

The last few days have been stressful to say the least!
Last Wednesday night/Thursday morning we were woken  by Elijah crying...not unusual but this time the cry sounded different. I shot out of bed, realised he was boiling hot and stripped him down. Unfortunately not quick enough because he then began to have a convulsion. I've seen these before several times but nothing could've prepared me for that experience, still holding onto Elijah for dear life I called 999 and very quickly help was on its way. After a long stint in A and E we were finally released diagnosed with having a febrile convulsion due to a very high temperature (over 40 degrees) and still awaiting to find out what caused that. The last few days have been a bit of a blur as I reflect on what happened and how scared I felt after the event.  Every moment I treasure the blessings I have been given, life is fragile.
Today I attended the funeral of a most humble and caring lady, the daughter of an amazing couple from our church leaving behind her very courageous 14 year old son who was able to stand up in front of a full cathedral and share a reading.
We can't predict what will happen or when but this week has taught me to treasure every moment, everything we have every one that we love, that's in our family, our friends , life is just too short and too unpredictable ....

Treasure all you have dear friends xxx

Sleep

is it just me or do other people come back from time away thoroughly exhausted ?!!
This past week we had the delight of going away to celebrate my dad's 70th birthday. Wonderful food , lovely wine and fresh sea air. Unfortunately Elijah wakes up at 6am so marc but mostly  I spent most early mornings exploring the sea front . After a couple of mornings I got it down to a fine art   Leaving clothes , keys, coats by the door to throw on as quietly as possible (I do confess to going out in my p.j.s the first morning 🙈)
I have to say despite the tiredness I began to thoroughly enjoy my strolls with Elijah, each morning we got to watch the sun rise in beautiful surroundings, I got to have done blue sky thinking time and had an hours worth of excercise. Of course my preference for time off would be to lie in but I'm blessed with an early riser so what better thing to do than to embrace it and enjoy the precious moments.
So in my tiredness I'm going to try and follow a new motto;
Life doesn't always follow our plan, we think we are going in one direction and suddenly we find ourselves on a totally different route. At these times even when it's really hard try to cease the moment , find the silver lining in the cloud , take each opportunity that comes our way but most importantly enjoy and appreciate what's around you .

For those of you blessed with sleep....enjoy every minute it's a precious luxury.

Pain

This week has been one of many challenges....most of you know that I'm a rubbish housewife, I'm not a natural cook or cleaner but I do love my boys more than anything and will do what needs to be done ....marc s been away so work and life survival has all fallen on me..... hard enough as it is but through into the mix another bout of pleurisy and I confess it's been tough.

12 years ago we headed home from I donesia sufferig from sever pneumonia and knaccered lungs.....12 years on the scars of that are still evident ... but I'm not one to see the glass as half empty head down I crack on with what needs to be done.

But yesterday even I had to stop and take a moment....my sister went in for an operation that didn't go to plan and instead of being in and out in a few hours she's looking at several days stay and a road to recovery we never envisaged.

Life is certainly a rollercoaster as good old Rownan sang...you never know what's around the corner....life's is too short for upset and falling out, embrace those you love, seize the day, be thankful for each and every moment.

If you are the praying type do pray for my sister and also for my brother in law as he holds together home and work ad our beautiful niece missing her mummy x

F & F

It's been a strange old week so far, I'm beyond exhausted what with the littlest VK having a bad chest over the weekend and waking in the night coughing himself silly to Marc being ill at the beginning of the week meaning I've had to juggle work, kids and even cooking (let it be known Daniel was VERY impressed with my chicken fajitas and homemade dairy free pizzas!). Having disturbed sleep has clearly made me an emotional wreck but this week especially I've really begun to miss friendships... In fact that's a lie this has been brewing for a while, maybe it's old age heading for the dreaded BIG birthday... Maybe it's social media and seeing people and what they are up to...whatever it is I've really been missing my friendships. Life is so busy and I think it is vital to make time for friends whenever you can whether they live down the road, in the next town or hundreds of miles away. Friends are so important to our lives and our lives are ever so much richer for them. There's something so special about being able to pop out for a coffee or something stronger with a friend, to text someone who gets you and to see someone who's known you for years and receive a hug. I'm so grateful to all the friends I have , but I truly do miss those of you I don't get to see . And so I'm not ashamed to say I've been feeling a bit down about it all
And then...
Last night I had a lovely chat with one of my oldest friends that made me feel so loved and even though the missing is still there being connected by social media helps.
This week has also been rubbish for some dear friends here and I won't go into details as its not fair for them but life can be really really poo at times but
As I bathed the boys tonight I was left thinking WOW I made these kids, they have their moments (don't we all) but they are so amazingly awesome individual and especially together I am truly blessed.. So tonight I'm taking each moment each blessing and each God given opportunity to seized life, take every option given and appreciate every person that comes my way....life is unpredictable so embrace it but please make those close to you know just how much they mean to you ...it may just be the thing they need to hear today x

(F & F ...Friends and Family)

Perspective

this morning I woke up feeling dreadful, sore throat and very tired; was woken a few times in the night by the littlest with his asthma and cough and slept a second night "sleeping" with him on my shoulder.
The last thing I felt capable of doing was leading worship and preaching coherently ..but that was the task in hand.
As always I had a really blessed time in Upnor the small but perfectly formed congregation are always so lovely, kind and friendly and gracious too. After leading their service I then hot footed it too Frindsbury , again feeling inadequate and praying that God could make sense out of my words. Both churches were particularly cold today so shivering. Aside we got through a nd again everyone was very gracious and soem even complementary of my words. As I got to the car to take a friend home we were greeted by a little dog and no owner...I vaguely recognised said dog and managed to pick him up shivering and soaked from the deluge and take him home....to find two paramedics and his own collapsed on the floor ...the clever dog I'm sure had come To find help .
Dog returned and friend delivered I return home locked out as hubby had taken the boys out (they did church yesterday !)  on return marc was fuming as a car had zoomed passed them flicked a stone up and cracked the windscreen ...deep joy.

This afternoon Dan had choir practise for the children's choir and so we trundled back to Frindsbury, we'd literally just got through the door when a lady looking frozen appeared in search of warmth and food, she had run out of money, had no food or heating, her partner is in hospital with late stage cancer and her children staying with her mother ... After a long conversation various things were put in place, we got her warm and gave her some food and temporarily sorted her out u til tomorrow when we can get professional assistance.

2 things today happened that made me stop and think how blessed I am, I don't live alone so God forbid if anything happened to me someone would be there or find me, I've got a roof over my head food in the cupboards and people I can talk to .
What's the world coming to when people are walking the streets looking for someone To talk to, in need of a cup of tea and no one to provide it.
The art of community is lost and I really feel we need to inject it back.

Tonight I will go to sleep thankful that I'm fed, watered and warm...and if Elijah wakes I will cuddle him extra hard , because I can.

Take care of yourself  and especially their around you xxx

Away

The last 6 weeks have been exceptionally exhausting ...what with all the build up to Christmas and then the Christmas week services and activities followed by family Christmas and new year visiting everyone , unfortunately our house isn't very big for entertaining ..the last few days are the first time the bits have actually had a chance to sit down and spend time playing with their new toys..I'm embarrassed to say that yesterday Daniel was still opening presents and Elijah still has some left, they just love playing with everything they receive.

Our boys have been really blessed with gifts and time spent with family here and up north , they've loved building bears in the Trafford centre and walking excitable doggies on the Lancaster/lakes boarder , playing with cousins and learning the art of playing pool (yes even Elijah!)  the problem comes when you've got to come back to reality and realise how much you miss dear friends and family ...

This year is a biggy for me and whilst trying to plan time off I'm looking more at planning opportunities to visit /spend time with friends and family rather than actually just going away.

So as this week tries to get in to some sort of normality we are just as exhausted as before my time off  but looking forward to what the year may hold....