Emotions

Tonight I feel a bag of emotions... Not that unusual for me to be emotional and especially not when pregnant but tonight it's especially heightened.
This week has been tough already, two wonderful members of our church family plus a family friend are really struggling with cancer, I've visited the 2 that live here, one being in the hospice and the reality of life and death is raw...put on top of that funeral services that keep coming and the contrasting baby kicking inside and a son who took Forever to go to sleep, my emotions are all over the place.

This job is awesome...it's a real blessing to walk and sit alongside people in their joyous times and also in their darkest times but weeks like this do make you sit up and take notice of your own life..and it's exhausting!

So as we come half way through the week my challenge to myself for the rest of the week is to feel thankful for each and every moment I have, even when my son is driving me to distraction with insomnia, when the sound of the guitar is buzzing LOUDLY in my ears and when I am just too tired to paste on a smile I will give thanks for what I have and enjoy every moment of life...for life is precious.

Making its presence known!

Over the last few days we have been trying to work out when is best for me to begin my maternity leave....it may sound like a really trivial thing but we've tried to look at how late it physically will be possible to leave it to ensure I get the most amount of time with our new edition yet also being aware that tiredness and being huge will take it's toll, on top of that though there is also the issue of the parish still being without a vicar and wanting to make sure everything will be covered for the time between a new vicar coming and me returning to work.

We have finally settled on no date purely because the legal time to inform my employers has arrived and now it's made I'm feel alsorts of feelings...it makes the thought of the future changes real, it makes me think about what it will be like being away from everything and many folk we care about for 9 months and it feels exciting to have this space albeit a busy time to spend as a family and it also makes the idea of a new edition even more real.
Our little thumper has really been making it's presence known to us by kicking during the night but also having a knack of kicking at inappropriate moments...especially during funeral services!

As uncomfortable as the kicking and constant toilet trips can be it does remind me again how blessed we are to be in this position and every day I'm grateful for that.

Privilege

After a relatively light Sunday last week today is a bit crazy with 4 very different services, 3 completed this morning and an all age family celebration this afternoon.
Last night and this morning I felt exhausted at the thought of the day ahead and wondered how I would survive.
Each service celebrated Candlemas and it was a real joy to celebrate and hear different responses to the special moment Jesus was presented at the temple just 40 days old....dear old Simeona nd Anna already recognising the significance of this new baby, especially hearing a lady preach her very first sermon amazingly well. ( may be out of a job soon 😛)

And as I stood to preside over the bread and wine I suddenly felt so humbled to be there, so privileged to be in the job, in the place I am and so blessed. We are not a huge church numerically but we are so blessed with gifted people who are so willing to serve this parish to help those around them and are faithful.

As I came home exhausted but happy I was met by my boys playing on their scooters with the neighbours giggling up and down the road and now Dan is playing with one of the boys on the Wii..the sound of light savers vibrating around the house....yes today it's a privilege to be here and I truly am blessed.