This job is just amazingly extreme....I've gone from standing in a freezing cold play ground keeping vigil for parents and children after the sudden death of a teacher to being commissioned and anointed by the actual Archbishop of Canterbury this evening !!!
today in a meeting , my line manager asked what parts of my role do I enjoy....and genuinely I said all of it! Yes it's exhausting , all encompassing, frustrating at times but I genuinely love it...because I love being with people , normal every day people.
I know I'm blessed (before I get shot down ) that I have no building , PCC committee , accounts to balance..and at times the lack of a meeting space, the total lack of a budget and no lack of a support/ responsibility board is frustrating but the freedom of being able to engage in people's lives at the happiest and saddest and all the times in between and drink lots of tea and coffee and count it as work is truly wonderful !
The last few weeks have felt a bit uncertain for many reasons but being anointed by the arch bishop was a real turning point for me and what better blessing than to have my mum and dad sat there to see it ! ...God is good!!!
Tuesday 30 October 2018
Saturday 13 October 2018
craving "normality"?
2 posts so close together ....therapy!
Marc and I caught up on an interview John Bishop did with Paddy McGuinness a while back....as well as talking about his life growing up in Bolton ( obvs I could relate to that ) he spoke about life with his 3 autistic children. One thing he said that really made the penny drop, left me with a light bulb moment , was craving the normal....seeing friend s doing normal things, taking their kids out for normal fun days out with ease and it being normal and fun!
Social media is a nightmare for this as you see people getting up to alsorts of awesome things at the weekends and during holidays and some days I just think....If only we could do that!
You see I've realised why I get so tired easily....every time we go out somewhere or especially to an event. E it work related, or socially I'm on edge, constantly wondering , how will the kids cope in this situation, what could be the triggers and how long can we stay before it gets too much .
This weekend has been exceptionally busy for Marc and I and a s aresult the kids, so today we had a "lazy" morning..I longed to go out and do something especially with Elijah as knew Dan needed his cave but not being able to drive or really walk far we stayed home and sorted toys and watched Postman Pat.
It has taken me many years to recognise that Dan and Marc need these lazy spaces, a chances to download , go into themselves and rest...I feel terrible that it's taken so long and I am still finding it hard but the result in being able to spend a few hours at a dear friends leaving party makes it worth while.
Whatever Sunday holds for you enjoy every moment ,
And appreciate "the normal"
Marc and I caught up on an interview John Bishop did with Paddy McGuinness a while back....as well as talking about his life growing up in Bolton ( obvs I could relate to that ) he spoke about life with his 3 autistic children. One thing he said that really made the penny drop, left me with a light bulb moment , was craving the normal....seeing friend s doing normal things, taking their kids out for normal fun days out with ease and it being normal and fun!
Social media is a nightmare for this as you see people getting up to alsorts of awesome things at the weekends and during holidays and some days I just think....If only we could do that!
You see I've realised why I get so tired easily....every time we go out somewhere or especially to an event. E it work related, or socially I'm on edge, constantly wondering , how will the kids cope in this situation, what could be the triggers and how long can we stay before it gets too much .
This weekend has been exceptionally busy for Marc and I and a s aresult the kids, so today we had a "lazy" morning..I longed to go out and do something especially with Elijah as knew Dan needed his cave but not being able to drive or really walk far we stayed home and sorted toys and watched Postman Pat.
It has taken me many years to recognise that Dan and Marc need these lazy spaces, a chances to download , go into themselves and rest...I feel terrible that it's taken so long and I am still finding it hard but the result in being able to spend a few hours at a dear friends leaving party makes it worth while.
Whatever Sunday holds for you enjoy every moment ,
And appreciate "the normal"
Thursday 11 October 2018
Belonging
It has been a strange old year...they say these things are sent to try us and they certainly have and the last few weeks have really escalated !
However within this there have been real moments of blessing, Ive been to 5 Harvest assemblies, each different and each showing the huge gift of wanting to help those in need but also making me feel like I belong there.
we've had our "fresh expression" groups meeting over breakfast and picnics and in those moments of sharing food I've felt like I'm in a place where I belong .
Ive spent two days on a training course, one that was engaging, was practical and made me think of so many situations in work and home where I could implement the teaching. Not only that but met some amazing council youth workers who wanted to connect and find ways of how we could work together...refreshing! In just 2 days I felt like I belong.
And yet theres the polar opposite, the times and places where you'd expect to belong, expect to feel welcome, expect to feel a part of something bigger...yet despite being in a group I feel so isolated and at times lonely.
It has really had me thinking...how many other people feel like this that we engage with, speak to, visit every single day? In this busy, crazy world that we live in we are so busy, so absorbed in the next thing that needs to be completed we miss what's going on around us...we miss living in the now!
So I'm trying to slow down a little, to appreciate the morning mist, the evening sun set, the new insights the kids suddenly come out with just at the moment I need to be elsewhere , I'm going to really stop and listen to the person at the school gate, in the supermarket queue, in Starbucks when waiting for my decaf soya latte!
And next time I rush past ( once off crutches!!!) or don't have time to answer that phone call or make space to pop over and see you...pull me up on it!!
However within this there have been real moments of blessing, Ive been to 5 Harvest assemblies, each different and each showing the huge gift of wanting to help those in need but also making me feel like I belong there.
we've had our "fresh expression" groups meeting over breakfast and picnics and in those moments of sharing food I've felt like I'm in a place where I belong .
Ive spent two days on a training course, one that was engaging, was practical and made me think of so many situations in work and home where I could implement the teaching. Not only that but met some amazing council youth workers who wanted to connect and find ways of how we could work together...refreshing! In just 2 days I felt like I belong.
And yet theres the polar opposite, the times and places where you'd expect to belong, expect to feel welcome, expect to feel a part of something bigger...yet despite being in a group I feel so isolated and at times lonely.
It has really had me thinking...how many other people feel like this that we engage with, speak to, visit every single day? In this busy, crazy world that we live in we are so busy, so absorbed in the next thing that needs to be completed we miss what's going on around us...we miss living in the now!
So I'm trying to slow down a little, to appreciate the morning mist, the evening sun set, the new insights the kids suddenly come out with just at the moment I need to be elsewhere , I'm going to really stop and listen to the person at the school gate, in the supermarket queue, in Starbucks when waiting for my decaf soya latte!
And next time I rush past ( once off crutches!!!) or don't have time to answer that phone call or make space to pop over and see you...pull me up on it!!
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