Torture

They say sleep deprivation is the worst kind of torture and I've sure experienced that this week....poor Elijah has had a terrible cough/ virus that has made him grumpy , hot and cough most of the night. marc and I have shared the propping up on our shoulder, the 4 hourly drug run and the trying to keep everything else going during the day between us.
It's felt like a really tough few weeks, lot soft things, not just Elijah being ill but different circumstances have been an up hill struggle. And I know it's not just me struggling lots of people have had a difficult few weeks, the loss of loved ones ,  work dead lines, illness...lots and lots of illness.
And in these situations it's so easy to go down, to feel sorry for yourself and to sink, but this weekend I decided to do the opposite , to come up fighting , to grab life back by the horns, to spend time , even if I didn't have it, with friends and family , to book that extra treat, to plan that visit to check up on those friends in need.
In the difficult times look to the sky, for in the clouds there is often still a hint of light, a star shining in the darkness, a streak of sun trying to burst through...

Rollercoasters

Ive always loved Rollercoasters....the first time I experienced one I was 11 maybe 12 years old....I'd broken my arm on a school residential (a story for another day!) and it was Blackpool so it was raining ☔️
Our school used to do a sponsored event to raise money...(I think it was for a new roof I could be wrong)and the form that raised the most got a free day out to Blackpool pleasure beach. I'd never been on a rollercoaster before but decided to embrace the opportunity, it was free  after all and give everything a go!
Wrapped in a kagool and clinging on to my best mate we embarked on the Revolution. We screamed in stereotypical young teen manner and were equally terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I never will forget Lindsay breathing a sigh of relief as we got to the end only to realise the ride returned only backwards !!! The screams reached an all time high !!!!

Life feels like a rollercoaster at the moment ...there have been some real exhilarating highs of times with friends and family, moments of delight with the boys and real epiphany moments (timely for this period of time) in work.. and just when you think progress is being made bang a person, a comment, an event knocks you sideways ...I care too much about people so it hurts.

So many dear friends are also experiencing the dip of the Rollercoaster moment but the reassurance is that when it's in the lowest dip it always goes up again ...the key is to hold on to the knowledge that that will happen in time.

As one of my many favourite blonde boy band singers once sang "life is a rollercoaster you just got to ride it !" ....keep going