It’s been a long time I know ... there’s a reason but today isn’t the time to share that particular story , one day but I’m not ready just yet !
Some of you may know my 10 year old was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD as well as a few other things last year after a very difficult battle . Daniel has often been described as complex because he is A bright Button , polite , caring , loving and kind .
But the reality is Dan also struggles with so many things , things changing , people not sticking to what has been said or arranged, things or situations seeming or looking different are just a few but my biggest battle At the moment is SLEEP !
My mum may laugh as I’m also not a great sleeper but the struggle is real for Dan ... it’s just gone midnight and he’s finally dropped off . He’s not been naughty or up and down the stairs he’s been trying all the techniques thrown at him but he just can’t switch off , he’s on melatonin which he lacks but the highest dose isn’t working and it makes him sad that he can’t “just go to sleep”. And yes I confess I get frustrated mainly because I’m worried how tired he will be the next day , but of course he’s not he gets up and goes to school and does what needs to be done without anyone knowing any different .
Dan at the moment needs me to hold him tight at night, he loves compression therapy , he needs to have Cold play playing in his ear (the ghost stories album seems to work best ) And he constantly recites how much he loves me .
Why do I feel the need to share ?
Dan is a perfect example of a masker - a person who can hide how they are really feeling (most of the time ) until they are in their safe space .
Many people do the same it’s a coping mechanism .. but we are not all good at it nor should we it’s vital we share our feelings ha and talk when things get too much.
So if someone looks a bit low on a zoom or someone in The supermarket barges past you , or someone doesn’t quite acknowledge you or say hello or doesn’t return a text or tweet or email straight away maybe t he I’ve got just a bit too much going on right now !
We are living in very difficult and unusual times .. we are all tired we’ve not had the rest , the breaks the days off or weekends we hoped 2020 would bring . Many of us have lost loved ones , family , friend or colleague (some of us all 3!) we just need to try and be there for each other hopefully one more hurdle for us to get through .. the end may be in sight but let’s not loose sight of the community spirit we had in March -July let’s look out for one another and spread a bit of love and kindness !
