Today was horrid! I had flash backs to when Daniel was a baby and admitted to hospital with asthma and a vision of what it must have been like for my parents with me as a child. Elijah has bronchilitus and is struggling to sleep, eat and at times breathe, it makes him very vulnerable as well as very grumpy!
Today I spent in the hands of the NHS in various forms and witnessed the pressure these doctors and nurses are under. One dr was continually called out of a consultation and asked to do a 24 hour shift due to a lack of staff..how can that be good for her or her patients . Whilst at the hospital I also felt very vulnerable and isolated , there was nowhere to get a drink without leaving the ward in search of a shop and I obviously couldn't leave Elijah, there was no cot to safely lie him in so I didn't have a toilet break for over 6 hours and people just don't have the time to chat to you . I am thankful for my mobile phone and those I managed to get quick arrow messages to for company but frustrated that my battery had 15% on it for some time and so ahd to limit even that communication.
Having missed most of my dad's Caribbean birthday meal celebration I managed to get there for the end of the meal a lovely array of goodies created by mum and had a sneaky swig of some much needed rum punch!
Tonight I lie , with Elijah in his cot next to me , praying he sleeps for more than an hour or two to give him the respite he needs but just in case have sent marc to the spare room so at least one of us may get a decent rest ...the joy of being a parent....its mightily you at times !
Sunday 21 February 2016
Monday 1 February 2016
I can cook!
This past week I've effectively been a single parent as Marc as been in Lancaster celebrating our nephew's 18th birthday (gosh I feel old!)
It has been a strange time being on my own, initially I was terrified and in Daniels words "what will we eat, Daddy does ALL the cooking!" And i also am not very good in my own company !
After a disastrous start on Friday when I spoke to hardly anyone apart from at the school gate until dear friends popped over to watch a film the time has flown by; but best of all I've discovered I'm not that bad at cooking ... My 2 boys have eaten everything I've produced which is miraculous for Daniel at least and also we haven't had to utilise any fast food chains!
I also discovered I have the gift of the gab chatting to anyone at the wedding fair in Bluewater and even trialling the new table talk weddings game with a group of excitable hens!
What has been hard is the evenings when the boys have gone to bed the sheer quietness becomes eerie and the novelty of choosing what to watch on TV soon wears off .
Working with the bereaved I now understand what they mean when they say they struggle when the door closes in the evening. Those who are single parents obviously have this all the time and my hat goes off to you managing to juggle and co ordinate school runs meal times mountains of washing the list is endless .
My time alone will end late tonight but I want to keep on learning to cook not all the time but definitely more regularly and I also want to thank those family and friends who made the effort to check in on me . As a tutor once said I'm actually a shy extrovert I need people !
It has been a strange time being on my own, initially I was terrified and in Daniels words "what will we eat, Daddy does ALL the cooking!" And i also am not very good in my own company !
After a disastrous start on Friday when I spoke to hardly anyone apart from at the school gate until dear friends popped over to watch a film the time has flown by; but best of all I've discovered I'm not that bad at cooking ... My 2 boys have eaten everything I've produced which is miraculous for Daniel at least and also we haven't had to utilise any fast food chains!
I also discovered I have the gift of the gab chatting to anyone at the wedding fair in Bluewater and even trialling the new table talk weddings game with a group of excitable hens!
What has been hard is the evenings when the boys have gone to bed the sheer quietness becomes eerie and the novelty of choosing what to watch on TV soon wears off .
Working with the bereaved I now understand what they mean when they say they struggle when the door closes in the evening. Those who are single parents obviously have this all the time and my hat goes off to you managing to juggle and co ordinate school runs meal times mountains of washing the list is endless .
My time alone will end late tonight but I want to keep on learning to cook not all the time but definitely more regularly and I also want to thank those family and friends who made the effort to check in on me . As a tutor once said I'm actually a shy extrovert I need people !
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