Wastelands and wilderness

This has been a crazy mixed up week!!!
The first part of the week was really busy as we prepared for the start of Lent....holding a Pancake party and then an Ashing experience at our drop in cafe.. all really lovely events with lots of food for thought .
Having worked half the week Wednesday night we hot the road and took refuge for a couple of days down at my folks in Deal.

Most of you know my boys are high energy and so thrive being outside ..... we spent a day walking up and down the prom visiting Walter Castle and generally enjoying the great out doors and enjoying tree climbing Andy den building as well as playing on the beach and in the arcades!
 the next we decided to jump on a train...purely because it's Elijah favourite thing in the world and visit Margate..originally because we had a thought that Marc and Dan may want to go to "Geek Fest" but as we approached the queues were massive and Daniel said it seemed too busy and scary so we carried on to the beach and to the turner Gallery.
I'm really interested in photography, art and sculpture t had seen an advert for "The Wasteland" and was intruiged..strangely enough so wasn't Dan (something to do with a certain head teacher mentioning the place I believe!!!)
The exhibition did not disappoint , the exhibits were fascinating , random, inspiring, intruiging and disturbing all in one; even Elijah was able to engage for a while and Daniel was just mesmerised !!!!

The thing that has stayed with me over the last few days since being home has been that Wasteland.... thinking too about the wilderness preparing  for today's sermon that Jesus encountered in himself preparation for his ministry ....are wastelands always a "waste" or do they have a part to play? Can they be useful in certain situations and can they in their "emptiness " be a haven of space and natural
beauty.
For Jesus he needed the wilderness, to engage in the Wasteland to get clarity, clear his head, to fully converse with God his father. Are there times when we need to find solice, look for the beauty in the
places others dismiss , retreat to find ourselves?....
The natural beauty around us, the beauty others can depict in art and sculpture has definitely been awe inspiring !

This week also saw me walk the wilderness journey with dear friends as after 54 years of marriage they were separated by the evil that is cancer... this part of the job is so so tough you wouldn't believe, yet so much of a blessing, you hear the stories of youth, the tales and the slightly cheeky things people got up to but mostly you get to sit with people as they think and reflect how they have been touched by another human being. To be in the wilderness , walking the Wasteland journey alone is an experience but to encounter life and journey it with others, I feel, is the ultimate blessing !

Therapy

Today was set to be a full on crazy day with a last minute meeting called this morning , a pancake play party this afternoon and teaching MSM at Bluewater tonight.

instantly the mood of the day slowed right down as I received a phone call early this morning to let me know a dear friend and gentleman I worked with in hoo on our residents association had passed away just minutes before . This happens a lot in my work but This passing knocked me for six. Not only do I class the couple as friends but I've walked this long painful journey of cancer  with them and had only thought yesterday he'd taken a positive turn ... oftern the way !!

But as with life you pick yourself up and keep going .. the hustle and bustle of children playing together and pancakes being eaten soon distracted me but the ultimate healer was the visit from my favourite 4 legged friend (and her owner!) Sometimes  pick me ups come from sources you don't even think of but today for the visit I'm immensely grateful!

So now I take a deep breath have another coffee and prepare for a long night in Bluewater.. grateful tonspecial friends and the gift of friendship !

Lights, camera.....

I've always been described as a shy extrovert.... I can be pretty quiet , I'd like to say reflective and can melt into the background, but, I absolutely love being with people (good job with my job!)
When I was younger I was given the great opportunity of being part of a drama group, we met each week and did various things , mainly panto. At the age of 10 I starred as the main part in amoer goose ....(Priscilla the goose!) no one else wanted the part ...I couldn't understand why ???? 🙈 I progressed through various parts and even got to play Sleeping Beauty (no one else available I'm sure!!)   I just loved being on the stage, the escapism into other worlds and lands, the lights the cameras the audience....to those who enabled me to have these experiences I'm so eternally grateful...but then as we moved and I went to a school where  a northern accent wasn't cool anymore and the only part I was offered was that of Bottom from a midsummers nights dream 😢 My days on the stage were over!!!
But yesterday I had the real privilege of helping chaperone the choir from Daniel's school, they were singing at the young voices concert in the O2. 7891 children in. Achoir in front of 20,000 adults!!! It was absolutely outstanding, the music, the singing the atmosphere was purely electric, the kids behave differently brilliantly, it was a long day and night, we are knackered today but my goodness it was truly wonderful ! I was so proud to play a small part in such a massive experience and hat an experience it was for those children .
And Dan.....he was so so good....he was a bit wobbly in places but grabbed my hand , took a deep breath and carried on..... proud doesn't come close !!!

Torture

They say sleep deprivation is the worst kind of torture and I've sure experienced that this week....poor Elijah has had a terrible cough/ virus that has made him grumpy , hot and cough most of the night. marc and I have shared the propping up on our shoulder, the 4 hourly drug run and the trying to keep everything else going during the day between us.
It's felt like a really tough few weeks, lot soft things, not just Elijah being ill but different circumstances have been an up hill struggle. And I know it's not just me struggling lots of people have had a difficult few weeks, the loss of loved ones ,  work dead lines, illness...lots and lots of illness.
And in these situations it's so easy to go down, to feel sorry for yourself and to sink, but this weekend I decided to do the opposite , to come up fighting , to grab life back by the horns, to spend time , even if I didn't have it, with friends and family , to book that extra treat, to plan that visit to check up on those friends in need.
In the difficult times look to the sky, for in the clouds there is often still a hint of light, a star shining in the darkness, a streak of sun trying to burst through...

Rollercoasters

Ive always loved Rollercoasters....the first time I experienced one I was 11 maybe 12 years old....I'd broken my arm on a school residential (a story for another day!) and it was Blackpool so it was raining ☔️
Our school used to do a sponsored event to raise money...(I think it was for a new roof I could be wrong)and the form that raised the most got a free day out to Blackpool pleasure beach. I'd never been on a rollercoaster before but decided to embrace the opportunity, it was free  after all and give everything a go!
Wrapped in a kagool and clinging on to my best mate we embarked on the Revolution. We screamed in stereotypical young teen manner and were equally terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I never will forget Lindsay breathing a sigh of relief as we got to the end only to realise the ride returned only backwards !!! The screams reached an all time high !!!!

Life feels like a rollercoaster at the moment ...there have been some real exhilarating highs of times with friends and family, moments of delight with the boys and real epiphany moments (timely for this period of time) in work.. and just when you think progress is being made bang a person, a comment, an event knocks you sideways ...I care too much about people so it hurts.

So many dear friends are also experiencing the dip of the Rollercoaster moment but the reassurance is that when it's in the lowest dip it always goes up again ...the key is to hold on to the knowledge that that will happen in time.

As one of my many favourite blonde boy band singers once sang "life is a rollercoaster you just got to ride it !" ....keep going

It's beginning to look a lot like....

it's been a crazy busy few days, make that few weeks....doing a lot of schools work means that this time of the year schools are keen for me to be involved in various parts of school life whether that's to just go along and watch nativity plays, to visit nursery classes and do a lesson about Christmas, to whole school carol services, Christingles and even the pleasure of a class party !
It is an exhausting time, the usual winter cold, sore throats has kicked in and the mild panic about how am I going to find the time to write the 2 talks/sermons I've still not done for Sunday let alone wrap presents and prepare the house for our family Christmas.

Yet tonight we ventured out, a band of merry singers, Carol singing in and around Lodgehill in Chattenden to share free mince pies and goody bags . It was cold, we haven't done it before yet the reaction as we walked and sang was amazing, people came out of houses, people stopped and listened and we even made some cry so moved were they that we'd come to them.
When we are so busy we can loose track of what Christmas is all about ...the spark of love come down in the form of a baby. That love is what I want to share with everyone, this year I've been so blessed to be able to hear that love told, shared and sung throughout our schools and to those members of staff who've invited me in I'm grateful.
This Christmas amidst the busyness of what needs to be done.....take a moment to watch, to observe, to take in the moment , the love come down and be blessed x

Waiting

its been a while! We've had no internet for 6 weeks and we've moved house so life has been pretty hectic!
In 7 days time we will be on the cusp of Christmas Eve..."The most wonderful time of the year !"
Until then there seems an endless amount of things to do ....3 Christingles, 2 school carol services, 2 crib services and a host of other services and appointmets let alone the secular side of stuff to do!! It's so easy to feel overwhelmed by the task ahead yet in doing that I fear we miss the precious moment. The time to step back and take time to appreciate what's to come. For this moment, advent is a time of preparing and waiting....waiting for the greatest day the greatest moment when heaven and earth touched through the birth of a baby. ...preparing to spend time with loved ones, give and receive gifts and remember those who can't be with us any longer .

Tomorrow amidst the morning services, christingle making and carol service Daniel will take his first communion...something he's been asking to do since he was 3! Amidst the busyness I want to take A Moment...freeze time to appreciate the here and now, the sheer overwhelming proud moment that will happen for Dan .

At this time of year , this week amidst the excitement, craziness and the fun take time to appreciate th moment ..