Home Alone!

This has been a really really tough week....but first let me track back

a few weeks ago we had a frantic call from Marc's older sister to say there had been a bit of a mess up with holiday dates and the first week in February Joseph our nephew would be home alone with no one to look after him ...can Marc go and stay!
My first reaction was yes take Daniel you will have great fun, my second was no I have so many days and weekends I have to be away with work I can't cope with an extra one...my third...It's gonna be tough but yes Marc should go and I will juggle work and Daniel.

So The week is upon us and it has been hard....trying to juggle meetings around Daniel's pre school sessions, trying to arrange grandparents to baby sit around their very busy diaries and trying to function on little sleep because I am a wimp and don't sleep well when the only adult in the house!

However, I have to say it has been exhasutingly full of blessings...I have managed to appreciate what a wonderful job it is I have where I can take Daniel in with me and also where I can dip in and out to fit around him, I 've appreciated other people's flexibility but most of all I have really loved the fact that my parents are willing to change things just to help us out and most of all how amazingly well Daniel has coped with all the changes this week.


This week I have had an exciting meeting about Cafe Church at Taggs and the opportunity to be able to advertise finally, I have met with an awesome and supportive Pioneer to share stories, I have been on some training, written a sermon, plannned a wedding and a funeral and done 2 toddler groups....However, I have also made 2 cakes, done 2 lots of washing, made a speed car run, done a puzzle, made a sand picture and loved spending extra time with my son ( and it's only Wednesday!)

What a weekend!!!!

It really has been an emotional and exhausting weekend in our household, one of those inevitable weekends when you have children but one that you hope doesn't repeat its self!

It started on Friday- My day off!

Daniel was very agitated most of the day and really didn't want to do much, we met mum and dad for lunch but he wasn't really interested in eating ( very unusual for him!) and mum even commented that she would be surprised if he didn't come down with something....

All seemed ok at bed time and we settled down to a nice haggis dinner and a glass of vino, I had just gotten myself into a deep sleep when I was awoken by shouts of "mummy!" followed by the dreaded sound of sickness. That continued on the hour every hour until about 6 a.m..
Saturday of course is a work day for me and so I took myself off to do Kidschurch ( unfortunately not making it to the Hoo clear up as was still in my P.J.'s!!) having only had about 2 hours sleep. I felt emotionally shattered but not too bad and isn't it often the way when you are at your lowest awesomeness occurs. We had a family with 5 children really keen to have all children baptised and they also want to get involved in whatever we decide to do to help Chattenden and even came up with some really viable ideas...exciting stuff!

Having survived Saturday and a staff supper on 2 hours sleep I thought we were through the worst and looked forward to a fun filled Sunday! Again all seemed well, Daniel slept until 7am and although still was tender seemed much brighter and so I left him happily playing cars as I plodded off to work.
My first Sunday experience was a strange one that I can't explain, I was doing the sermon at both services and had been anxious about it having spent many an hour on it. I got up to speak and began with a little story, as I like to do, and then I felt a real pressure on my chest, it was like I had something sat there trying to stop me from speaking! However I took some deep breaths and slogged through determined to get the message across, the feeling passed as soon as I finished and I managed to deliver the talk at All saints without any difficulty.

I was just about to set off for home to collect the boys to go out for a much needed lunch when the phone rang and Marc shouting down the phone, Sue come home now it's an emergency, Daniel has a cut finger and its really bleeding!
I am not one for speed but I have never driven so fast ( within the limit of course!) in all my life. I was anxiously terrified at what I was going to find when I got home and very aware that Marc is scared to death of blood. I opened the door and found a very grey Marc holding onto Dan's finger for dear life looking like he was going to faint...To cut a gruesome story short I got them together threw them in the car and shot off to the hospital. it transpires Marc was cutting Daniel's finger nails and he wiggled!!
3 hours of waiting at the hospital with me holding pressure and elevating his finger it finally stopped bleeding 5 minutes before we saw the nurse and manged to get him relatively easily cleaned up!

So not the most relaxing weekend, we feel exhausted emotionally and physically but just so grateful that Daniel seems to be on the mend, he isn't badly hurt and Marc seems to have come out of his shock. We are also grateful that we have a system where we can just jump in the car, turn up and receive help! And  of course it is amazing how a quick arrow prayer can really help, it calmed me, a usualyl emotional wreck when Dan is hurt, into a person who could instinctively deal with a very messy situation. And finally how difficult but essential it is to have to switch from Rev Sue, to mummy Sue!

I wouldn't really want to make such events so public but they really have had a profound effect on us in many  ways.

What we really got out of today was a new friend courtesy of Medway hospital ( donated by the freemasons....but that's another story!) Welcome to the V-K household SNIP!

It's beginning to look a lot like.......WINTER!

Today has been a day I have been hoping for all week....but let me back track..

Since last Sunday we have been threatened/ promised/ teased with the idea that snow was coming to Medway...so, in my head I have been thinking of all the fun we could have, all the admin work I need to get done that could be done if I was snowed in and the general happy feeling snow creates in our household.
However, as Monday passed into Tuesday.....and then Friday I was starting to get really grumpy! Even my sister had snow on the Wirral and they never get snow, it was getting too much. By Friday the threat of snow was imminent, the sky was heavy and the flurries began, and then they stopped. We didnt dare go out far "just incase" and so I felt that the weather people had robbed me of my day off and any hope of snow.

And then it happened!

For some strange reason I had offered to cover both the 8.30 a.m and the 10 am service at Hoo St. Werburgh church whilst John and Sue are away. I originally was just down to do 10 am and was due in Upnor first but something in me felt that wasn't right and so convinced the powers that be ( my boss!!) to let me stay in Hoo. So at 7.50 a.m. I creep out of the door trying not to disturb anyone else and all looks cold and wintry but ok, still no snow but i had given up hope! Literally within 2 minutes of leaving the house the snow flurries started but again it felt quite fine and not really amounting to anything.
I then proceeded to spend a most wonderful morning within Hoo church, I led the 8.30 communion and then preached and presided at the 10 a.m talking about licorice allsorts and how they are like the church!! ( 1 Corinthians 12:12 onwards) I felt so welcomed in the church, I didn't feel nervous or under pressure, I enjoyed speaking to the faithful who had braved the elements and it was a real honour to preside and work alongside one of their wonderful readers. I really do think that I would struggle being a traditional vicar but if I had to be I would choose to be one in Hoo!

As our worship service came to an end the heads popped outside and discovered the snow was still falling and was sticking too so we had our tea and coffee and promptly trundled back up the road. As I approached our house I was greeted by a myriad of snow balls as all our neighbours were out playing, adults and children alike! I obviously had been desperate to play for a week and so didn't need any encouragement to get the wellies, hat, scarf and gloves on and so Marc, Daniel and I went and joined the upper Rivenhall Way snow ball fight/ snowman build. We had such fun and the day continued in the same fashion we later went out to discover our snowmen had been taken away on a sledge by some other children and so had to console ourselves with some mulled wine whilst the children continued to play..."Pioneering in the Snow" is my new mission :)

Bringing Back the Sparkle...an inspiration

Today I was given the amazing privilege of going to visit Jessica. Jessica is 21 years old and has chronic M.E. she has suffered for 6 years and is bed ridden confined to just one room. 

Most people in that situation at that age would be dwelling in self pity and feel like there is no hope!

Not Jessica...Jessica is so creative, imaginitive and amazing, she has decided to channel her thoughts feelings and situations into something positive that can help others in her situation or similar.

Jessica has created Share a Star. A charity that helps to support children, young people and their families during very difficult times of illness.

The children that are supported by Share a Star are given stars personally made by Jessica as well as other support to help them cope during difficult and sometimes tragic times in their lives.

What so inspired me today was Jessica's outlook on life, clearly she is suffering, clearly she is in pain but clearly she has a hope, a faith an assurance that keeps her going to help her cope with life.

It made me reflect on how I deal with things in life. When you have had no sleep due to a toddler with an ear infection, when work is so manic you don't know where to turn, when you are worrying about how to get all the food prepared for Christmas dinner...you have to stop and think at least I have a healthy child, at least I can go out to work in a job I love, at least I can eat the dinner we are frantically trying to prepare. Jessica struggles to eat, she can not go out and get a job but she does have hope and a heart for others much more than I can ever dream of...AMAZING!

If you have a moment of the festive season do please either watch the video or go to shareastar.org and find out more.

CHRISTMAS

Today was the Hoo Village Fair. It was the warmest day of the week...yet still very chilly in the wind, yet at 10am myself and a few hardy volunteers were in Hoo Village Square setting up our Dekhomai Stall ready to greet passers by with free chocolates, free prayer bracelets, free hand massages.

It always surprises me how surprised, unsure, excited people can be about free things, some walk away saying no not quite sure whether free really means free, some come a little closer in trepidation wondering can anything possibly be free and some....usually children run forward wanting to explore before even asking if there is a cost!

Today was a little quieter than we have been before but we still had a steady stream of visitors to our stall, people who wanted to make a pretty bracelet, people who wanted to talk more deeply, people who wanted to explore and people who just like chocolate....whatever reason people came to see us it was great, I love being with everyday people.

It does seem that people are keen to talk abouT spiritual stuff and are not afraid to broach the subject and prayer seemed to be a thing most people do even if they don't do church...however Cafe Church principles seem to be attractive to some....so this Tuesday with free mulled wine, minced pies and fun we will open Taggs and see who walks through our doors...those who have little faith , those who have none, all will be welcome and Christmas will be in full swing...

I LOVE HOO!

A broken place?

The last 24 hours have been the strangest, confusing, heartwrenching I have experienced for some time.

Yesterday Tuesday 20th November I returned home at 3.30pm keen to listen into the General Synod debate and vote deciding whether finally women bishops would be welcomed into the Church of England.

After some listening my heart began to sino deeper and deeper as the negative views and concerns were coming through thick and fast...however those known to me were positive and supportive so a glimmer of hope remained..

However, at 6.10 (or there abouts) the votes came in ....the bishops approved , the clergy approved but the house of Laity rejected the motion.

I was In Shock, I was angry, I was hurt, my heart felt literally broken. Until this very moment I hadn't realised how much this decision meant to me....I don' aspire to be a bishop, I just don't think I am the right type of person for the job...but my mum is and this decision and delay means that opportunity will never arise. It also hurt to think that after all the church and women in leadership have been through there are still those who feel that as a woman I am inferior and so is my ministry.
I truly feel that I am called by God to be a Priest. I truly believe that I have the skills and knowledge and ability to be a Priest. I truly believe that God wouldn't want this to internal issue to distract from the Good news of the Gospel...

However, open up a paper physically or virtually this morning, listen to the news, read Twitter and Facebook and very soon it becomes clear that this decision has had nothing but a negative effect on the church, making it look irrelevant and archaic.

So after a sleepless and distressing night, a question answering morning from those who don't get it I have come to a place where I feel it is ok to be cross but actually my calling hasn't changed, my job is still the same and my mission is even more important...to make Jesus known to those who struggle with church. So I wear my dog collar with pride and live to fight another day ;-)......my thoughts and prayers are with those truly heartbroken and who's vision and calling will not be fulfilled.

Phillipians 4:13

 

Back to school

 

This week has been really really busy, even more busy than usual!. It has been a time to reflect  a time to remember and I have felt like I have returned to school as have had 3 different teaching engagements on 3 consecutive week days.

 

 

This week I have had the pleasure and the joy of teaching the air cadets, a group of lay people exploring how to develop mission in thier local areas and training people about the inherited church models as part of their first module on the road of them becoming authorised memebrs of the Church of England.

 

3 very different groups of people, 3 very different experiences, 3 very different blessing.

 

I discovered this week 3 things:

 

1) I absolutely love teaching..it has been a while since I did any large amount of teaching more than the odd training session, doing these 3 in a row has been a real honour.

 

2) There are so many people, young and older who have so many questions, ideas, thoughts and views that create a kalaedascope of engagement.

 

 

3) I am soooo tired and as well as these 3 teaching engagements I have also had a funeral visit, pastoral visit, meetings and 2 sermons to prepare...however, despite the business of my life this week I have survived and learnt so much and only by the grace of God and his strength...

 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13

 

 

Every day I wake up and look forward to whatever lies ahead.....that is often unknown...and every day I go to bed surprised by how I have been chosen to do such a wonderful job...I just need to remember it when I am feeling shattered!

 

Our transformed Cross using white and red poppies this Rememberance Sunday