A special few days

As the country and some parts of the world wind down, look forward to a long weekend, go of on holiday, we have been building up to the busiest week of the year.
For me Holy week, the week before Easter is exhausting, exhilarating and very moving.
This year it has been exceptionally difficult as the schools have broken up early resulting in Easter being at the end of the holidays and therefore no wind down time afterwards and also as the church travelled 80 miles to witness the licensing of our old vicar into his new parish.

But despite these distractions this still feels like a special time, amidst the exhaustion, glimmers or awesomeness are appearing...
last night I had the real joy of sharing in a last supper style meal and communion with hand washing for all and a demonstration of foot washing as an act of servant hood. Sharing food with others is an intimate affair and breaking bread to share during that as Jesus would have done was also a powerful moment.

Being able to serve others is not easy for anyone but sacrificing ourselves for those we care about can be a powerful act.

This morning after little sleep we hope to welcome people of all ages to be Cre8ive in their exploration of the Easter story with things to make and do and parts of the story to see, explore, taste and enjoy, and then tonight we wait and pray as we remember.
WHY? Why do all this when its  a bank holiday for many? why do all this when I could be at home watching tv and drinking wine? why do all this after an exhausting week and a busy weekend?
I do this because I feel we have an important message to share, this is not just a good story, it is not just a retelling of a magic trick, this is life changing , earth shattering news.
Jesus Christ did die tragically on the cross, he was buried in a tomb and he did rise again, the evidence has been found tried and tested and the effect this has gives me hope. Hope for a broken world, hope for children today lost at sea, hope for those waking up to a country they hardly recognise, hope for those who face their worst fears, hope that this is not the end.
I pray today this Good Friday whether you go to church or not you take a moment to look around appreciate the awesome creation we have and then maybe you will glimpse the one who created it.

Happy Good Friday...for the sadness of death brought us new life!

The other side of the fence

I've spent the last week in a whirl wind of work, exhaustion and reflection.
I couldn't for the life of me work out why I was shaken by Ian (my boss) leaving on Sunday. Yes he has been a great support and trainer but that wouldn't usually create such a reaction in me...And then one night I couldn't sleep I realised, whenever I have experienced a vicar leaving a church it has been my mum an dad and I have been leaving with them. I have always been on the other side of the leaving, the one moving away, the one with new horizons to explore the one leaving friends behind and wondering what the future will hold; Not the one left behind!

So this week has had me reflecting back on what it has been like for all those places where we have left..am sure we didn't leave a gapping hole or were tearfully missed but moving is a massive part of this job, a part I took in my stride as a child and the part I now begin to dread.

I often envied friends who had family living around the corner, people who had always lived in the same place. I have loved each and every place that we have ever lived in their own special and unique way yet it does sometimes feel that a piece of me has ben left behind.

Cherish your surroundings, cherish those around you its only in times of change that we realise how special they are and sometimes too late.

Rollercoasters

I feel like an emotional wreck! The last few days have been a real roller coaster of emotion. Last week mum had to go into hospital for an operation. It is horrid to see someone you love looking so anxious and scared and not being able to do anything, I spent a very stressful day waiting for news and during a meeting the text came through to say she was ok. Like any operation it comes with pain and after care and it has been so difficult watching her in pain.
My emotions just about recovered when Sunday came and the time to say goodbye to my vicar arrived. The day was again full of emotion, having to lead services of farewell and hold it together in order to help everyone else cope with the day.
My vicar has been an amazing source of inspiration in pastoral care and training. I have been really grateful to him for all he has taught me and I will miss his support and guidance. As I woke up this morning I feel like I have experienced a bereavement. I know it sounds very dramatic but it does feel like someone dear has gone. It probably feels worse because I now feel some sort of responsibility for the parish until a new vicar is put into position...no pressure!

All this and a mother's day to contend with, a day when I woke up my lovely 4 year old said "mummy you have to stay in bed its a special day!" unfortunately not for someone who works for the church! Amidst all the stress and angst Daniel has been my ray of light keeping me going, making me smile and giving the best cuddles ever.

Life has its ups and downs and am grateful to those who support me amidst the chaos of this wonderful life!!

parenthood !

No one can prepare you for being a parent. No matter how many classes, books or bits of advice you are given, nothing prepares you for what's to come. We had more time to prepare than some having waited several years for Daniel to come along and still things take me by surprise.

For one I never realised how much he would be like me.

This week has been emotionally painful. Daniel has suffered an asthma attack resulting in a trip to hospital to be nebulizer, blood tested and alsorts of other checks and treatments. Dan was coughing so much he was sick, he was exhausted and he was struggling. He's only are years old and it's hard explaining to him what's going on and why. Yet turn the clock back more years than I would like to admit and I see me. A child suffering with asthma and allergies, a child struggling with food colouring (who puts colouring in kids meds ..madness !) a child so articulate usually but can't express his anxiety . I was that child, I put my mum and dad through endless sleepless nights in hospital and thousands of trips back and forth to doctors . I spent many of my early years in hospital.

It upsets me to see my son suffer and not really be able to help, I can blame myself for giving him asthma but most of all I can empathise with him, I can sit up at night with him coughing himself awake and I can share in his frustrations.
so many other parents are bravely soldiering on with poorly children...my hat goes out to you its an emotional rollercoaster and all I can do is pray for strength each day and a happy little boy .

When 2 worlds collide

It sounds like the title of a song...maybe I could commission it, maybe it has been written already...but today it happened.

 

This morning I had the real pleasure of  talking at 2 services in St. Helen's Cliffe. Part of my job means that the 1st Sunday of every month I get to go to different churches in the deanery ( anyone who will have me basically!) We were thinking about Education Sunday and Candlemas!

 

I was feeling really quite nervous about today, not because I was visiting a different church, not because I was worried so much about the subject although it had been playing on my mind, but because I used to work with the headteacher of the local primary school.

 

It is really weird when things from different aspects of your life come together. Viv was my partner teacher when I was an NQT someone I really respected and admired and I just didn't want to show myself up/ let myself down/ distract from the message I was giving... Nervous beyond believe!!

 

Today though was amazing, beyond my wildest dreams. It was so wonderful to see Viv and her husband Chris again, it was lovely to be in a place that was so relaxed not so formal and full of life and worship. It was so lovely to be able to share in something I am so passionate about with others and most of all reconnect with Viv.

 

Having always moved around with dad's work I thought I had gotten used to having people come and go in my life but I'm not sure I ever will. I love people, I love the friends I have made along the way but there are so many I miss. It can be such a lonely job and makes me appreciate the friends I have to all those who have been in and are a part of my life....thank you one and all x

running into the wind

I am not one for making new years resolutions as I always feel that January is a bad time to commit to giving up our favourite foods when so many Christmas leftovers are lying around, it's a bad time to commit to exercise when the weather is so cold damp and dark. Yet this January I fell ( literally) into a resolution. Marc decided the first Monday in January that he was going running. Sat, laptop on my knee, coffee almost in hand, warm and snuggly with Daniel at Pre-School I didn't like the idea much yet when he suggest I went along I foolishly thought "why not!". My relationship with exercise is poor, I am prone to injury with over extendable joints and bad knees. I haven't run properly since school ( and that was usually only to impress the teacher!!) so what possessed me to agree I will never know.

Anyway a few weeks have passed and I have stuck to a twice a week routine. It's not a lot, just under 5 Km around our locality, sometimes with Marc and sometimes alone . I can't pretend I find it easy, the first session I barely got off the estate and literally crawled back on to it ( meeting neighbours along the way!) My lungs hurt, my knees ached and I wanted to collapse. However now everything still aches and hurts but I can run that little bit further without having to walk for a bit, I can appreciate the view of the fields that just about still exist and I can listen to music and pray for those on my mind while I run/ fast walk/ crawl along.

I do desperately want to get fit, to tone up would also be nice but most of all I have discovered the joy of Blue Sky thinking. I now have 36 minutes to myself to listen, to ponder and to pray. I have 36 minutes to appreciate the place we live and I have 36 minutes to be.

I very much doubt I will love running or exercise but I do love the benefits. It's not a resolution where I will beat myself up if I fail but it's a new start at space for me!

I will keep you posted on how it goes :)

LOVE

Am preparing for my Feb article in our local magazine and wondered if anyone fancied checking it out.....February is coming upon us thick and fast..where has this half of Jan gone to??? HAPPY NEW YEAR and hope things are ok for you all out there x

 

 

“All you need is Love”,  “Love is the sweetest thing”, “ Love is all around”, “Love is a wonderful thing”, “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” “Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.”

Just some of the quotes that we may or may not be familiar with relating to LOVE.

February is often associated with love, I love February mainly because a lot of dear friends and family celebrate their birthdays in that month, February also feels special with its shortened number of days. However do we love February 14^th or do we loath it; see it as just another commercial excuse to spend money on tacky cards chocolates and flowers ( if we are lucky!)

When I was a student a friend and I used to get annoyed that Valentine’s was over priced and over hyped and those who were not at that moment in a relationship were made to feel inferior or like they were missing out. Instead we created ‘Friendship Day’ . I am sure somewhere in the calendar one already exists but we felt Feb 14^th really could be  about friendship,  sharing the love friends have for one another and giving thanks for our friends. I must state that I was going out with my now husband at the time so it wasn’t some act of feminism or bitterness.

So what is LOVE?

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails ( 1 Corinthians 13 v 4-8)

These  words from the Bible really sum up how I feel we should treat everyone we care about whether it’s a partner, a friend, a family member, a child or a neighbour.

So whatever comes your way may February be a month of love. A time for you to show those you care about how much you truly love them…money is irrelevant but good gesturers of love can mean the world.