The last 24 hours have been the strangest, confusing, heartwrenching I have experienced for some time.
Yesterday Tuesday 20th November I returned home at 3.30pm keen to listen into the General Synod debate and vote deciding whether finally women bishops would be welcomed into the Church of England.
After some listening my heart began to sino deeper and deeper as the negative views and concerns were coming through thick and fast...however those known to me were positive and supportive so a glimmer of hope remained..
However, at 6.10 (or there abouts) the votes came in ....the bishops approved , the clergy approved but the house of Laity rejected the motion.
I was In Shock, I was angry, I was hurt, my heart felt literally broken. Until this very moment I hadn't realised how much this decision meant to me....I don' aspire to be a bishop, I just don't think I am the right type of person for the job...but my mum is and this decision and delay means that opportunity will never arise. It also hurt to think that after all the church and women in leadership have been through there are still those who feel that as a woman I am inferior and so is my ministry.
I truly feel that I am called by God to be a Priest. I truly believe that I have the skills and knowledge and ability to be a Priest. I truly believe that God wouldn't want this to internal issue to distract from the Good news of the Gospel...
However, open up a paper physically or virtually this morning, listen to the news, read Twitter and Facebook and very soon it becomes clear that this decision has had nothing but a negative effect on the church, making it look irrelevant and archaic.
So after a sleepless and distressing night, a question answering morning from those who don't get it I have come to a place where I feel it is ok to be cross but actually my calling hasn't changed, my job is still the same and my mission is even more important...to make Jesus known to those who struggle with church. So I wear my dog collar with pride and live to fight another day ;-)......my thoughts and prayers are with those truly heartbroken and who's vision and calling will not be fulfilled.
God be with you, Sue. As much as I want to, as a man I cannot comprehend the pain that you and all other female clergy must be feeling right now, and wouldn't dream of pretending otherwise. All I can do is assure you of the tremendous value that your ministry has to so many people, myself included.
ReplyDeleteKeep wearing that dog collar with pride :)
Sue, you know how much knowing you means to me and the amazing support you've been. I cannot believe the decision and you're right, that it does give a bad impression on the Church.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it's Priests like you who change those impressions and as the older, more blinkered members of the church disappear, then things will change. Unfortunately, it might take time - but, miracles do happen and as more and more people become aware...who knows what can happen?!
I'm not the most knowledgeable of Christians and am still relatively young in my faith, but I strongly believe that God is waiting in the wings with this one and we need to remain hopeful and pray together.
Sending massive hugs and prayers, Sue. Keep up the amazing work.
Claire (A.K.A. Bobs) xx